Funny Jokes - Lawyer Jokes - page 1/12

Disorder in the Court!
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of (...)

A man and his Alligator
A man and his alligator walk into a bar and the man asks, "Does this bar serve lawyers?""Of course we do," replied the bartender."Great," said the man, "I'd like a beer... and give me a lawyer for my (...)

My dad's a Lawyer
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an (...)

Lawyer in a car wreck
One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver's (...)

Old dying lawyer
A stingy old lawyer was on his deathbed. He instructed his wife to fill two large pillowcases with money thinking he could pick them up on his way to heaven. Several weeks after his funeral the widow (...)

Lawyers and sperm
What do a lawyer and sperm have in common?They both have a one in a million chance of being human.

5000 dead lawyers
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?A good start!

dying woman needs brain
A woman diagnosed as having a brain tumor was told by her doctor that she would need the transplant of a one-pound brain. The doctor then asked, "What type of brain do you want?" "What type?" the (...)

Dead lawyer's grave
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in (...)

billy's father is a lawyer
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor." (...)