Funny Jokes - Elderly Jokes - page 1/6

Recently seen
|Recently seen on a card...Outside: We dont feel sorry for you blowing all those candles, what about us...Inside: ... We had to stay up all night lighting them!

Good & bad news
|An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"Patient: "Well, give me the bad news (...)

Hard of hearing
|Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?""No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."And the third man chimed in, (...)

Movies changed
|For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn.Handing (...)

New hearing aid
|Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to (...)

Handling teens
|A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very (...)

Ode to cranky men
|I chanced to pass a windowWhile walking through a mallWith nothing much upon my mind,Quite blank as I recall. I noticed in that windowA cranky-faced old man,And why he looked so crankyI didn't (...)

I have bad news
|The doctor tells his patient: "Well I have good news and bad news..." The patient says, "Lay it on me Doc. What's the bad news?" "You have Alzheimer's disease." "Good heavens! What's the good news?" (...)

I am not forgetful
|Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember (...)

Automotive horror
|As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong (...)