Funny Jokes - Animal World - page 8/20

Two sheepherders are perfoming unnatural acts...
Two sheepherders are perfoming unnatural acts with two of theirherd simultaneously. One turns to the other, disgustedly, and says,"I hear they're doing this to women in Chicago!"

Have you ever smelled moth balls?
Have you ever smelled moth balls? - How did you get their little legs apart?

What has two legs and bleeds?
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

What does an elephant use as a vibrator?
What does an elephant use as a vibrator? An epilectic.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree ? - Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree ? - Because it was stapled to the monkey.

Why does a cow wear a bell?
Why does a cow wear a bell?Because his horns are broke!

How do you catch a polar bear?
How do you catch a polar bear?Answer: First, you cut a large, round hole in the ice. Next, you place enough peas around the hole to completely surround the hole. Then, when the (...)

Snake joke
First snake:I hope I'm not poisonous.Second snake:Why?First snake:Because I bit my lip!

Instructions on how to Colect a Beaker of Cats Urine
This is, like, so dumb...Instructions on how to Colect a Beaker of Cat's Urine 1.Treat the beaker like your most prized possession. 2.Solemnly intone the word "no" every time the cat (...)

A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo...
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.They are standing in front of the big silverback gorillas cage, when one woman makes agesture that the gorilla interprets as aninvitation. He grabs her (...)